Unfortunately, along with the thousands of other changes like having to buy your own lightbulbs and pay your own bills, growing up also means that we are on our own in the goal setting world. We no longer have parents to line job interviews up for us and we realize that our future is entirely in our own hands- literally.
The reason I titled this “Adultish” is because, while we may be running around with the freedom of an adult, most of us in college are still being helped by our parents (thank goodness) and we don’t have a “real-world job” quite yet. Entering college I was so excited to finally be an “adult,” only to realize- I’m still not there yet. Luckily, we still have a few years to decide on what we want to do with our lives before truly being thrown into the world.
Before you think it, yes, yes I know, its January and its very cliche- but in my defense goal setting isn’t something that is just useful during the new year. We are all actively setting goals and (mostly) reaching them throughout the year without even realizing it. A goal of yours could have been to go to college or to get a homework task done, and a lot of us don’t even see that we are actively achieving goals that we have set for ourselves- even without a fancy vision board or journal.
Okay- achieving your dream job isn’t exactly as easy as a homework assignment, but its just proof that we all have the ability to define what we need to get done and go after it. (even the small things)
The main reason why I wanted to talk about goals is because I am currently in the middle of college, where a lot of us suddenly find ourselves half way to being out in the world and becoming a real adult. If your anything like me, looking at the overall goal can be a little overwhelming- especially if it isn’t what you wanted to do in the first place- and it may just cause you to take a semester off!* So I have been digging into the real world and figuring out how exactly I am going to pull this whole “adult” thing off, and what I have found can be beneficial to every single one of you.
First, its much easier to see the finish line if we discover and listen to our passions. In my opinion, we can only make it so far in life if we are running after something specifically for the monetary reward rather than our desire towards it. Figure out your “why”, whatever that may be for you.
Why are you choosing this path or decision?Why are you going to stay motivated to keep pursuing this?Why- in short- are you even doing this in the first place?
Discovering your why involves digging deep down inside yourself and figuring out your purpose. If you can’t answer why you are doing something, odds are its not a passion of yours. This can quickly help you realize where you are and where you need to be headed.
Second, all of our end game plans- whether small or big- can be broken down into small, realistic chunks. Sure, once you figure out that you want to create your own business selling candles because it’s your desire to do so, amazing for you! However, you can’t be like Jan and just simply make a thousand of them for the hell of it without any plans or future destination.
You take it one stair at a time. But you have to map out a glimpse of the staircase first, so you know what your next step will be.
Knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life or finally committing to losing weight is an amazing step, but you have to break down the small ways you plan on getting to that final step. You can’t expect things to change without changing your actions and behaviors, but you also can’t expect to throw in twenty lifestyle or work related changes and believe that you are going to master them within a day.
Start with one change or step, and then move on to the next- but have an idea of what to run into on that stair.
Lastly, you have to commit to the goal, and to yourself.
We all can lack motivation or feel scared when we set off to create a life for ourselves, and honestly that’s just life. But having your passions and desires being the fuel for you to continue down the path is what makes all the difference. Many people have trouble with this step because, if you’re not connected to the goal, why would you feel motivated enough to reach for it? Family and societal pressure can only take you so far until you turn around and realize you made it all this way for a goal that you were never tied to in the first place.
Committing to making this goal a reality is the action step, and it’s extremely difficult to make it through without a set intention.
In a nut shell, goals start with making a decision based off of reasoning, can be mapped out in a realistic, small step approach, and is fueled by the ability to commit to that goal and to yourself. It’s much easier said than done, but seeing all of your active steps mapped out in front of you on paper, a board, or a computer makes it a lot better getting started. This way of viewing goals can be applied to careers, hobbies, or even simple tasks that you get done throughout the day.
“Why am I doing laundry for the second time this week? – because I simply cannot use the last towel a sixth time.
“Why am I pursing a career in elementary education? – because I have a passion for teaching young children and feel a strong connection to learning and education.
And so on and so forth.
Entering adult life means being able to plan for one step ahead, while also being focused and centered on where you are at currently. And I don’t know about you, but I was never taught how to instill motivation in myself and reach large goals that can be overwhelmingly unattainable without actually planning my path. After I listened to what my heart was calling me to do, all of the chaos surrounding my work and educational life started to calm down.
For further advice and crude humor based on this subject, I would highly recommend grabbing a copy of Sarah Knight’s “Get Your Shit Together,” which was the inspiration for this blog topic.
*Yes, I am taking a semester off of college! Thank the Lord. I’ll write more about this in a different post, but it is the smartest and healthiest decision I have ever made. If you have thought about taking a break from college but have been worried about it- do it. We are in no rush to finish and there is no point in paying for classes on a subject you may or may not be interested in your graduating year. Take some time to learn about yourself and what your passions are leading you towards.
Abby Lacy 